The Boy With The Irreparable Heart EP

by Strangeness In Proportion

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released January 9, 2016

Art by Alex Kneer

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Strangeness In Proportion Doylestown, Pennsylvania

Strangeness In Proportion is Sean Cahalin, a singer songwriter from Doylestown, Pennsylvania.

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Track Name: I Told Myself To Be A Better Person
Last night I cried until
I couldn't breathe
on the verge if throwing up
the chatter of my teeth
I'm sorry, mom, I'm not the best son
the luck of the draw
you deserved better
I hate my flaws

I'm sorry to my old friends
for not always being there
I know I fuck up a lot
but I'm trying, I swear
I'm sorry to my dogs
for never playing ball
I'm sorry to my grandparents
for not visiting last fall

I know I'm not the best
but I'm trying not to worsen
I'll learn from past mistakes because
I told myself to be a better person
Track Name: Snowless Winter
A year ago today
The day you walked away
It hasn't been the same
But I'm better off without you

It was a time to remember
Just you and me
Hiding in the woods
Hoping no one would see
Things haven't been the same
Since you left
And if I'm being honest
It's made me depressed

(The winter we had no snow)

We'd talk for hours
About the dumbest things
Play fuck, marry, kill
And wait for the spring
Remember when we'd sneak out
To go trespass
I wish those days
Were made to last

The winter we had no snow
The winter we had no snow
The winter we had no snow
The winter we had no snow
Track Name: Vivian (Feat. Billy Ailtmar)
Left your boyfriend for me
I tried to do things right
I tried to make you happy
You were my flash of light

Could we covert every minute
We spent together
Into months or years
And have it last forever

Was I ever romantic
Or just completely hopeless?
I have to stop crying
Oh god, I'm such a mess

Is there a word for
Extreme love and hatred?
Because that's how I feel
When you're in my head

Did you lie to me
About how you felt?
This is my life
The cards I've been dealt

Vivian
Can you hear me?
Please give me hope
So I can be happy

Vivian
I'll leave you be
I'll go away
I want you to be happy
Without me


Vivian,
    I always liked to imagine what it would be like if things were different. What if we hadn’t dated for that short time? If it had gone on for years. A lot can happen in a year. A whole lot of memories to be created, and I wish I could create them with you. Instead, I'm sitting here talking to the microphone because I still love you. I know you don’t feel the same way. You used to tell me everything, we used to talk all the time, you told me about things you didn’t even trust your sister knowing. And now, it’s like we barely know each other. I try texting you and snapchatting you and, yeah, you answer, but it doesn’t go on like it used to. I don’t think you’ll accept this outward cry of desperation but you once told me that hope is inevitable, and I am hoping.
Track Name: If My Parents Could See Me Now, They'd Still Be Disappointed
I have this dream I'm yelling at my family
about everything they've done wrong
and I'm screaming and crying
I grab everything and run out the door
and I am in the street on my own
no matter how it gets, I'll never come home
nowhere to go, I'll survive
my parents are hornets in a toxic hive

I have this dream my parents are fighting
they are louder than the storm
and i go to hold my sister
we can year every word
they can't stand each other but they hate me
they say I'm a fuck up and regret me
I'm sorry, mom, for being born
I'll try to be better but I never learn
Track Name: My Suicide
I'd rather die by my own hand
than any other way
'cause I can't stand the thought
of people pretending they knew me

I'll write my note
with the tears you'll cry
when you realize
I'll never be by your side
of all the people
I'm leaving behind
you're the only one I'll think of
when I attempt to fly

I've planned my own funeral
since day one
and the only ones invited
are the moon and sun
I guess this life wasn't for me
but I'll always be
part of the wind's breeze
and the cracks under your feet

forget the things I'll never do
like loving myself
and reading the books
I never took off my shelf
I'm above a highway
and I'm thinking twice
there's nothing left in my life
besides these flashing lights